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It’s a beautiful hot summer day, yet some people just can’t get out of bed. Depression is more than just a one day case of the blues. How can you distinguish depression from grief or a bad day and what do you do if you determine that you or someone you love is depressed? Depression vs. Grief Suffering any type of loss, be it a death, break up or even a move from one location to another is bound to bring up feelings of sadness. There may even be crying spells, loss of appetite and an inability to concentrate. While these symptoms can also signal major depression, the intensity and duration distinguish them from a depressive episode. A grief reaction may last several months to a year but one will notice that symptoms diminish with time. With major depression, symptoms stay the same or worsen and there is also a preoccupation with worthlessness, as well as suicidal ideation. There may be physical agitation and a loss or gain of weight. Those who are depressed feel that life is no longer worth living and find no joy
in any activity. What to Do? True clinical depression requires treatment. Up to 15% of individuals with severe major Depressive Disorder die by Suicide (DSM IV). If you or someone you know feels depressed, the first step is to see your physician who can prescribe an anti-depressant or refer you to a psychiatrist. In addition, it has been shown that the combination of medication and psycho therapy can improve depressive symptoms in the long term. Depending on the issues, therapy can address family and personal concerns as well as provide ways to modify one’s thought process to lessen the potential for future episodes. What else helps? If you are the person who is depressed, it is important to take care of yourself physically. Sleep patterns are often altered so getting enough rest might not be a problem. Rather, it is important to get out of bed regularly and get some exercise. Even a simple walk outside will be helpful in lifting mood. Eating balanced meals is often a challenge since loss of appetite is a symtom yet dehydration and lack of nutrition can worsen depressive symptoms
Because I see children, I am often asked questions about parenting. Some are very specific, asking about how to handle a behavioral issue like anger or doing homework. Other times, the questions are more general and it feels like the parent is looking for my approval. Without actually asking the question, they are wondering, “Am I doing it right”, “Will my child be harmed because I work?” or here’s what Tommy or I did in response to this situation- “Are we normal?” It seems that our ideas of good parenting are shaped by many different influences. Of course , our parents’ ideas of parenting shape our own but things were so different when we were children that it is hard to compare. Men weren’t expected to be as involved, if they were involved at all and fewer women were in the workforce. Society shapes our ideas of what is expected now but messages may be mixed depending on one’s social or economic surroundings. At times, especially with middle class families, parenting feels like a competition. My child got into this school or plays this sport competitively or is in these extracirricullar activities. Grades and test scores become public know ledge and at times feel more like a reflection of the parents’ performance than the child. The above discussion doesn’t even address yet another complication. The parent who was poorly parented and knows they want to do things differently but does not have a close role model. How does one know the best way to parent? Assuming that there are no problems with physical, verbal or sexual abuse and your child is safe, here are some guidelines to assure a parent that they are doing it right. 1. There is no RIGHT way to do it. All parents do the best they can given their own stage of development.2. There is no PERFECT parent, nor should a parent try to be perfect. In fact, according to researcher D.W. Winnicott, it is imperative that we fail our children at times so that they develop resilience and skills to take care of themselves in the real world.3. What is important, according to Winnicott is that we be a GOOD ENOUGH parent. This means meeting the needs of the child enough so that they understand that in general, the world is a reliable place and that others can be trusted.4. This goal can be accomplished whether you work or stay home. A parent who is dissatisfied with their own situation will project this disatisfaction on to their children and won’t be as emotionally available.5. Be intentional about the values that you want to pass along to your children and model them in your life.6. Provide firm and consistent discipline. Children need their parents to be parents and not permissive friends.Be open to other’s way s of parenting and recognize that there is no one way of doing it. Follow your intuition and do the best you can.
I help couples, families and individuals understand the patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that keep them from having the relationships and the successes that they desire. I work with them to mobilize their ability and power to make the choices and changes that will make a real difference in their lives.
I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor with over 9 years experience working with children, adolescents, young adults and adults, mainly in the area of grief and loss. Through my work at Brooke's Place for Grieving Young People, www.brookesplace.org, I have been taught by countless numbers of individuals, ranging in ages 3 - adults, about grieving the death of someone significant. Death is the ultimate loss. However, each loss in life is significant. My practice provides a safe place for you to work through any loss or relationship issue. Other areas I work with include depression, anxiety and self esteem. Grieving is natural and is your unique way of experiencing any loss. Choosing to grieve any loss is a courageous step. I will walk with you in your grief journey, at your speed and duration. How you choose to express your story is up to you. I will offer you acceptance while sharing your story. Are you experiencing loss through death, relationship, experiences from childhood, career choices, children transitioning, or other losses? Do you yearn for greater intimacy in relationships? Where there is death or loss, there is life, love, faith, hope and joy. Doing the work of grief is not easy; it IS REAL! And, you are worth it.
More info... (http://video.google.com/url?docid=-5380542598639127432&esrc=rss_searchfeed&ev=v&len=70&q=parent+without+partner&srcurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymotion.com%2Fvideo%2Fx3ok8u_my-2-yr-old-partner-and-our-non-mlm_people&vidurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideoplay%3Fdocid%3D-5380542598639127432%26q%3Dparent%2Bwithout%2Bpartner&usg=AL29H215u4O84x-_cowGEJIc6Bvn8MA0kg)My 2 yr. Old Partner And Our Non MLM Home Based Business!1 min - May 18, 2008After viewing this video I noticed my sons band aid in his ear was visible. It held in a piece of medicated cotton. The nice thing was, Daddy was home. Because both my wife and I are stay home parents we have no boss to consider when it comes to things like this. That's just one of the things I love about my home business.
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